The fourth round of chemo has come and now nearly gone it was a bit tougher to recover from this one. I am discovering, somewhat painfully, that there is indeed a thing called residual effects associated with the chemo process. This and next round brings us to a decision point of a stem cell transfer, or a Rituxan maintenance regime, or/and other and continued alternative therapies and lifestyle changes. We will be doing more research and consulting on these options over the next three weeks. But for now, life is good, so good and I count my blessings daily for life, love, faith, family and you who take an interest in our heritage in the making. I have had some insights that may help you in your own heritage and healing.
We had a wonderful family reunion at the lodge this month. The whole family gathered and celebrated with the traditions we have come to love and a review of the values we share and cherish. We rode the ATVs over the top of the mountain on the Skyline Drive. We took in the panorama of beauty and inspiration of the vibrantly colored wild flowers, breathed deeply the crisp morning mountain air of nearly 10,000 feet. And we drank in the cold spring waters and near intoxicating fragrance of the horehound hillside that surrounds the Sheepherder's potty.
Then on the boat we skimmed across the reservoir to our favorite fishing spot and listened to the grandchildren (and their parents) scream with delight as the big trout challenged their patience and then skills. The pictures will only verify the size and the memories long after the grill goes cold and the last morsel of lemon-peppered fillet is forgotten.
But, when the Cloward's meet, they eat! And we had some great feasts that always begin and end with all the family members working together creatively and joyfully in the kitchen and around the campfire. But the kitchen was not the only place we found joy in working together. At the lodge there is always work and projects. It is a never ending project to build and live in a log home in the wilds where nature and the elements combine and are largely left to decorate and landscape. So, there was wood to move, cut and haul. And there were weeds to pull and flowers to gather. For the grandkids, the rewards are ATV riding time, treasure hunts interspersed with grandpa's heritage stories about near-death miracles -- getting shot, crushed by a tractor roll-over, nearly drowned (twice), frozen to death and now the mysteries, magic and miracles of mantle cell lymphoma. The clues and the surprises (complements of Krysti) were great rewards of the adventure of the treasure hunt. But the deepening of family ties and the stories of struggle, prayer and faith, will long outlive the toys and goodies.
Family Reunions are always heritage in both the making and the celebrating. This year's gathering, however, added a new challenge and opportunity for growth, understanding and deepening of understanding and the ties that bind us together. It was a powerful lesson in another kind of "residual effects."
In our late night adult discussions with the siblings, we discovered that there had been holes in our vision, understanding and parenting over the years that had left some members of the family with some unprocessed, painful, memories, questions and misunderstandings. In pulling those bits of heritage past from the attic and clearing the dust and refocusing on the images, we were able to work through the meaning of the memories. Reopening old wounds can be both painful and healing. The pain comes to both the injured and to the offender. The healing comes from the understanding , acknowledgment, forgiveness and increased love from both. Hindsight can reveal both reality and misperception. It can reveal what was not understood, intended, or even real.
Once these "out-of-focus" or missed memories are revisited, the clarification and re-focusing can give new understanding, clarification of significance and meaning. While unintended injuries cannot be undone, the "lancing" and "venting" under the spirit of trust and love can provide needed healing and new depth to security of the relationships.
The "aha" of the process for me was the realization that heritage, that which occurred in the past and which we carry forward, can be the product of misunderstanding, or misinterpretation. More importantly, it can be "re-interpreted" correctly, or where necessary, its residual effects can be resolved and even changed from negative to positive, pain to joy, from limitation to empowerment. The residual effect of what was done, or not, done to meet the needs or build the heritage in the past can be the basis for building a stronger, positive heritage in the present and a more rich family legacy for the future.
I recommend that if you discover or suspect that children, siblings or parents have memories that may be having residual negative, or simply lack of positive effect in your heritage, that you counsel together in the spirit of strengthening your relationships, understanding, forgiveness and love. You surely may use the Cloward story of discovery, pain and healing as a reason to consider, examine and process the residual effects of your own family's past for potential strengthening of your family heritage. After all, its all a matter of the story and our understanding and interpretation of it anyway. So, don't hesitate to rewrite the meaning of your past for a better ending of your story. You to can use the power growing and healing from the residual effects of the journey of heritage making.
Onward and Upward,
Love Doug
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Because Freedom Isn't Free
It is the season of parades, fireworks, family picnic, a three-day weekend and great sales for local merchants. And what is the reason for the season? Oh yes, it is the 4th of July.
I’ll bet that your family, like my family, made the priority to gather and feast and celebrate. But what will we celebrate, besides being together? Did we take the time to remind our children and grandchildren of the great inspired founding fathers struggle to birth this nation of freedoms they so much wanted and that we may take so much for granted? Did we remind them of our love and loyalty to our great nation. Did we build their understanding of the heavy price our ancestors paid and that our military continue to pay for the luxury for us to sleep at night unafraid and safe. In our celebrating, did we enumerate and celebrate each of the grand freedoms of the the bill of rights? Did we celebrate and build upon their understanding of their national heritage? Did we remember and celebrate the reason for the season?
As I sat with my children and grandchildren around the campfire and sang the songs of patriotism and freedom, I remembered. As we expressed our love of country and prayed for the the safety and welfare of those who are not with their families this 4th of July, I was reminded. We, Heritage Makers, have a grand and important role to play in preserving our nation’s heritage – one family at a time, starting with our own. With so much media focus on what is wrong with government, I wonder if we see in the mirror of reality that what is wrong with America is centered in the homes of Americans, not in the seat of government. I fear that parents grumping and lack of grateful comment on being an American largely has caused the loss of the strength of our country – the faith and commitment of its citizens. It is so easy to place the blame on politicians for fading freedoms, that we forget who put them there and sustains them, or not. Do our children know how we feel about our country? What do they know? The answer is what they hear us say day-to-day and what we share with them heart–to-heart, and bedtime story-to-story.
What storybook have we written and read to our children and grandchildren that defines what it means to be an American, or Canadian? Have we done enough to celebrate the sacrifices of service of our grandparents and great grandparents in the military and wars of the past and of fathers, brothers, uncles, friends and countrymen who serve now?
Do we realize the power, the priority and the principle of our national heritage? And do we realize the price we will pay if we fail to remember and build a national heritage within the weave of our family heritage? We must realize and remember--that which we fail to remember and to celebrate--soon fades. Freedom without celebration is patriotism lost. Children without celebration of national heritage are patriots lost.
This is a year of deciding and setting the stage for so much serious consequence for our future, Americans and Canadians - families. No, I am not referring to the coming political jostling and rhetoric we will be bombarded with over the next several months. I am referring to this being the year that all heritage makers place their votes for the freedom and the national heritage in the voting box of the minds of our children.
We can campaign and vote for freedom with storybooks and celebrations that focus our children and families on the principles and the values that make our families and our nation great. Let us teach them, with the tremendous power of our stories, about the real strength of a, our nation. Lets teach them the principles of freedom and the responsibilities of free men and women. Let teach them throughout the remainder of the election process as it sets the stage for meaningful conversations and family discussions about why we support who we support and about why and how we vote for the candidates whom we feel will best represent our principles and freedoms.
Please, let's be freedom makers, as well as heritage makers. Perhaps we should begin by considering that it is one of our greatest freedoms to be able to be heritage makers. Let us not forget, that we might not lose by neglect or apathy. Rather, let's become known for the contribution we are to freedom, patriotism and strong families who carry the pledge and the flag proudly and responsibly and who have effectively integrated nation and family heritage.
Onward and upward.
Love,
Doug
I’ll bet that your family, like my family, made the priority to gather and feast and celebrate. But what will we celebrate, besides being together? Did we take the time to remind our children and grandchildren of the great inspired founding fathers struggle to birth this nation of freedoms they so much wanted and that we may take so much for granted? Did we remind them of our love and loyalty to our great nation. Did we build their understanding of the heavy price our ancestors paid and that our military continue to pay for the luxury for us to sleep at night unafraid and safe. In our celebrating, did we enumerate and celebrate each of the grand freedoms of the the bill of rights? Did we celebrate and build upon their understanding of their national heritage? Did we remember and celebrate the reason for the season?
As I sat with my children and grandchildren around the campfire and sang the songs of patriotism and freedom, I remembered. As we expressed our love of country and prayed for the the safety and welfare of those who are not with their families this 4th of July, I was reminded. We, Heritage Makers, have a grand and important role to play in preserving our nation’s heritage – one family at a time, starting with our own. With so much media focus on what is wrong with government, I wonder if we see in the mirror of reality that what is wrong with America is centered in the homes of Americans, not in the seat of government. I fear that parents grumping and lack of grateful comment on being an American largely has caused the loss of the strength of our country – the faith and commitment of its citizens. It is so easy to place the blame on politicians for fading freedoms, that we forget who put them there and sustains them, or not. Do our children know how we feel about our country? What do they know? The answer is what they hear us say day-to-day and what we share with them heart–to-heart, and bedtime story-to-story.
What storybook have we written and read to our children and grandchildren that defines what it means to be an American, or Canadian? Have we done enough to celebrate the sacrifices of service of our grandparents and great grandparents in the military and wars of the past and of fathers, brothers, uncles, friends and countrymen who serve now?
Do we realize the power, the priority and the principle of our national heritage? And do we realize the price we will pay if we fail to remember and build a national heritage within the weave of our family heritage? We must realize and remember--that which we fail to remember and to celebrate--soon fades. Freedom without celebration is patriotism lost. Children without celebration of national heritage are patriots lost.
This is a year of deciding and setting the stage for so much serious consequence for our future, Americans and Canadians - families. No, I am not referring to the coming political jostling and rhetoric we will be bombarded with over the next several months. I am referring to this being the year that all heritage makers place their votes for the freedom and the national heritage in the voting box of the minds of our children.
We can campaign and vote for freedom with storybooks and celebrations that focus our children and families on the principles and the values that make our families and our nation great. Let us teach them, with the tremendous power of our stories, about the real strength of a, our nation. Lets teach them the principles of freedom and the responsibilities of free men and women. Let teach them throughout the remainder of the election process as it sets the stage for meaningful conversations and family discussions about why we support who we support and about why and how we vote for the candidates whom we feel will best represent our principles and freedoms.
Please, let's be freedom makers, as well as heritage makers. Perhaps we should begin by considering that it is one of our greatest freedoms to be able to be heritage makers. Let us not forget, that we might not lose by neglect or apathy. Rather, let's become known for the contribution we are to freedom, patriotism and strong families who carry the pledge and the flag proudly and responsibly and who have effectively integrated nation and family heritage.
Onward and upward.
Love,
Doug
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