The room is perhaps 10x6x20 (hallway). There is a window on the side wall that looks out at the mountain and the helipad. On the wall behind my bed view is a poster picture of a cowboy riding along a high mountain stream, with the title FREEDOM. Any of you who have read one of my favorite books, Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" will appreciate that freedom is a state of mind and that liberty is control of options.
Freedom is the realization that you are free to choose, own and stand accountable for the choices of your mind and whatever actions your liberty, or lack thereof, permit you. Today, my liberty is largely limited to my hospital room again, but the blood counts are looking like tomorrow maybe they will deliver the key with the hard boiled (steamed, nuked, or otherwise lifeless) eggs. Oh what choices are expanded with that soon-to-be re found liberty. Yet, what accountability will come with that new found liberty as well.
So here we have consultants, moms, with a new found liberty of kids back in school and no longer being focused on last minute vacations, soccer and such --- what to do, ummmh? And then we have the president of the company, no longer confined to the bed and the pricks and pokes and pumps and pills and nurses and ----- ummmh, what to do?
Seems we all have some renewed and important choices to make over the next few days because the choices of the next few days seem to set the course and the priorities of those that follow. It seems that moments of choice of change are far more impactful to longer term actions than one might think.
So, what will it be? Let's see -- no movies, TV, Mall hop shopping, novels and restaurants over the past three weeks for me. Maybe I should really celebrate - do those things I haven't been able to do? Or rather, maybe I can run a little faster, speak a little louder and reach a few more ears and hearts with the message and the movement. I guess my choice will rally speak my priority and my priority will speak my passion and my passion will carry my message of priority and purpose and power. I think until the key comes I will seek the freedom and the liberty to speak out to yet another nurse and doctor about what ails their families and the sound cure that is found in heritage. They seem to be honestly interested in my diagnosis and prognosis and several have carried the message beyond the confines of my current liberty. And so shall they (your contacts) carry your message beyond your circle of influence and reach.
I look forward to introducing you to a simple new tool to help you help them to extend the reach of your liberty to inspire, instruct and motivate with your message of heritage. That is coming at Reunion -- a simple tool that will reverberate your message and your liberty, if you will only choose to use it. IT IS COMING.
Onward and Upward
Love
Doug
Monday, September 8, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
The Movement has begun - And a Little Child Shall Lead Them - and Us
It has been oh so long for me to try to work, communicate and convalesce in the hospital, that is until I meet someone so much worse off and here for so much longer. Dear Lord and friends, forgive my impatience and lack of perspective. But oh, it has felt so long since I hugged the grandkids. But then the massive breakout of shingles across my neck, shoulder, back and head are too contagious for the little ones. It seems so long since I had the chance to give one of the Consultant's kids a sucker or treat at my office, let alone a hug for their moms. Thankfully a few call and visit with news and loves and coordination. Thank you for trying to keep me in the company of the business, if not in the office of the company.
Today I must share a powerful and pressing insight that has distilled upon my sleepless hours. I have come to more fully understand that heritage is children and heritage making is first and foremost about our, yours and their children.
I have had some pretty heavy thinking on that subject the last few days/nights. As I measure and value the things and people of my life, I believe that I have come to glimpse, ever more slightly, into what eternity must be, to be as rewarding and wonderful and the Word and the prophets have indicated. I now understand more why the Lord called the children to Him and counseled his disciples to forbid them not. I understand why He declared. "…for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven" and why we must not offend one of them. And how a millstone would not even begin to reward unkindness to the least of them. I see now why I am so driven by the last two verses of the Old Testament and why 2nd Timothy 3: is so chilling to my bones.
Our lives, His life and purpose is found in children, heritage, even "an heritage of the Lord." Oh that I could find the words to convey to each of you how clear this vision of reality is. How I wish that you could feel as I feel the urgency, the necessity and the opportunity to come to the rescue of the children who must face the voices of deceit and anger and half-truths and selfishness and pride and the rhetoric of special interests, politicians and the media. How I wish you could, as I have, had your heart opened to the view of eternity and the precious love He has for each child. How I wish you could see beyond the story to the eternal realities of their real story. How I wish you could hear the call of the Shepherd of the lambs calling for shepherds of the sheep to gather them to the "folds" of the books and posters and cards - with full explanation of their meaning and power and purpose - for heritage, not just stories.
My friends and family and heritage makers, please find your own moments of silence as I have these last few days and find eyes to see, hearts to feel and ears to hear to know ours is a work of saving the children. Teach them why they are special. Help them discover and cherish the values of the past and the family present. Prepare yourself to carry the message of Heritage through the workshops to thousands of moms and dads who already know the value of their little ones and the challenge they must face in the days ahead. Please, please come to understand what it means to be a maker of Heritage and a Heritage Maker.
Please do not lose the chore of the message in the process. Please rally with me in the creation and coordination of the movement and the cause. Don't get lost in the pages and papers. Rather, get immersed in the lives and voices of the movement. Give the message of heritage, heroes, values and strong resilient children to everyone who will give you the opportunity to share the message of the Heritage Workshop and the passion of a heritage conversation. Please -- join me in the confines of my conviction. Please lead them to their heritage.
Onward and Upward
Love, Doug
Today I must share a powerful and pressing insight that has distilled upon my sleepless hours. I have come to more fully understand that heritage is children and heritage making is first and foremost about our, yours and their children.
I have had some pretty heavy thinking on that subject the last few days/nights. As I measure and value the things and people of my life, I believe that I have come to glimpse, ever more slightly, into what eternity must be, to be as rewarding and wonderful and the Word and the prophets have indicated. I now understand more why the Lord called the children to Him and counseled his disciples to forbid them not. I understand why He declared. "…for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven" and why we must not offend one of them. And how a millstone would not even begin to reward unkindness to the least of them. I see now why I am so driven by the last two verses of the Old Testament and why 2nd Timothy 3: is so chilling to my bones.
Our lives, His life and purpose is found in children, heritage, even "an heritage of the Lord." Oh that I could find the words to convey to each of you how clear this vision of reality is. How I wish that you could feel as I feel the urgency, the necessity and the opportunity to come to the rescue of the children who must face the voices of deceit and anger and half-truths and selfishness and pride and the rhetoric of special interests, politicians and the media. How I wish you could, as I have, had your heart opened to the view of eternity and the precious love He has for each child. How I wish you could see beyond the story to the eternal realities of their real story. How I wish you could hear the call of the Shepherd of the lambs calling for shepherds of the sheep to gather them to the "folds" of the books and posters and cards - with full explanation of their meaning and power and purpose - for heritage, not just stories.
My friends and family and heritage makers, please find your own moments of silence as I have these last few days and find eyes to see, hearts to feel and ears to hear to know ours is a work of saving the children. Teach them why they are special. Help them discover and cherish the values of the past and the family present. Prepare yourself to carry the message of Heritage through the workshops to thousands of moms and dads who already know the value of their little ones and the challenge they must face in the days ahead. Please, please come to understand what it means to be a maker of Heritage and a Heritage Maker.
Please do not lose the chore of the message in the process. Please rally with me in the creation and coordination of the movement and the cause. Don't get lost in the pages and papers. Rather, get immersed in the lives and voices of the movement. Give the message of heritage, heroes, values and strong resilient children to everyone who will give you the opportunity to share the message of the Heritage Workshop and the passion of a heritage conversation. Please -- join me in the confines of my conviction. Please lead them to their heritage.
Onward and Upward
Love, Doug
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Life, Death and Heritage in the Balance
It was a wonderful summer evening. The tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers and onions were ripe and ready to be chopped and garnished with fresh cilantro, lime juice and real apple cider vinegar (not the fake stuff). A heavy dash of cumin, some oregano, sea salt and a couple of jalapeños for a little kick. So I chopped and mixed and the famous Cloward family Summer Salsa recipe was prepared and ready for delivery to the widows and friends on the mountain.
It was getting late so our visits Monday evening were quick as the moonlight cast its spell over the lake and season's last hatch of snow flies smashed on the window as we drove back to the lodge. We knew I was at, or near, the bottom of the CHEMO cycle and would likely experience the now all too familiar "drop" in energy and vitality. We just didn't know it would catch me that night with a vengance unlike the previous collapse.
At 10 pm Judy found me chilling and very feverish and I wanted to try to sleep. Sleep for me has become a memory from my prelymphomic night dreams. I was badly in need of rest. However, rest was the last thing on the agenda that Monday night. The night was long and I was far from the hospital when at 4:30 AM I finally got up one more time to get to the bathroom. This time, however, like the parking lot at the office after the last CHEMO cycle, I collapsed. Judy heard me hit the floor and was at my side in a flash. Luckily, John, one of our two not-so-near neighbors, was on the mountain and had his cell phone on. He was quick to get to us to assist Judy in getting me to the car. I didn't remember the ride down the mountain being so long before.
At the emergency room in Provo they again found my blood pressure at 70/30 and suspected with the 103+º temperature meant that we were dealing with a sepsis blood situation due to the absence of the white cells. They put me in ICU and started pumping fluid and antibiotics. I was was in pretty bad shape.
It has been a most difficult week since that flight down the mountain. But, as with all challenge, pain, difficulty and struggle, there has been growth and goodness, faith and friendship and blessing sufficient to the test. Thank you, thank you - please keep the prayers coming. I am off the mountain, but a long way from out of the woods.
The week was oh, so long. As I lay in the hospital bed and watched the coming and going of the life-flight choppers over the long holiday weekend, I was again pained to realize how many others were being called upon to suffer and die in accidents and traffic tragedies. The weekend traffic was heavy and the storms were fierce for so early in the fall. As I looked out at the mountain, the pale of the moon on the aspens from last Monday night's flight had changed to the pale of a new dusting of snow. Oh how I am so not ready for the summer to be past and my labors unfinished.
There is wood and coal to haul, chop and stack. There is staining for the logs and a bit of cement work that has been waiting since spring. And there is the proverbial cleaning of the lodge of the dust and growth of summer which has passed largely with me away from my mountain retreat. Alas, time, summer and life waits on none of us, lymphoma or not. It will all either get finished somehow, or it will wait. Today it will wait.
I am confined to the hospital until my
white cell and neutraphil counts rebound. That could be yet days, maybe weeks. So I continue to work from the bed and cell phone and hope and pray that things will resolve for me to be with each of you at the Reunion Convention - again, prayers please.
As the gurneys shuttled back and forth from the ambulance and the choppers, I couldn't help ponder the lives represented and touched by those on and at the side of the victims. How had they lived? What were their priorities? How had they spent their day, weekend, summer, life, love, passion, service, priorities and values - so far, or totally?
Each of us live in the shadow of the unknown. This allows us to freely choose how and on what we will spend our lives. It allows us the freedom and the agency to determine the "most" important things. For some of us it is "things," for others it is "people" and for some of us it is "cause." For the best of us it is a good balance of each, such that we are not left wishing and wondering when we are called from, or to the mountains of our lives. Balance is tricky business because a choice to focus on one aspect of living is also a choice to not spend it on another. The key is knowing, rather, choosing on what to focus on, when. It seems to me that it is a matter of seasons.
If we are in harmony with the seasons of our day, year and life, we will experience the least regret, loss and disappointment. If we "render" to God, children, spouse, health and work, that focus and time that rightfully belongs to them -- "their" seasons with us, we, while still having wood to chop, will not be so burdened by its constant call to spend our hours, days and summers.
We have just completed a season of summer, with kids and vacations, goings and comings and now back to school. For most Heritage Makers, this has been a season of putting the cause of heritage on back burners, or at least on simmer. It has been necessary while we have tended to the balance of the season of heritage we are both making and protecting. Now, however, the season has changed. It is time for heritage makers, particularly leaders, to rebalance and focus on the business and the "cause."
We have seen a drop in the attendance on Leader Calls and Sr. Leader calls over the summer as the balancing act has taken its toll on time and business priorities. And there are those of you who are not able to connect in at the time of the call, due to work. But now we issue a clarion call to each of our Heritage Makers consultants and leaders. Now is the time to shift and prepare for September, Reunion, fall selling, workshops and your clients and teams.
Important announcements are being made on the Leader call today. If you are qualified, please do not miss the call. If you are not yet a Director, please get with your Director after the call for details and then, please stretch and become an HM Director. We need you. The cause needs you and there is growth and excitement in the days ahead that you will not want to miss. Now is the season for "Fall Selling Salsa" and we have a great recipe for you. Things are about to get really "hot" and we don't want you to miss out on a single bite of the new taste of heritage in the making.
Leaders, today we will be discussing the Leadership Principle of Life and Death. I believe it will help to move you into the new month, season and mindset. I look forward to sharing some impressions from my bedside with you. Please be there.
Onward and Upward
Love Doug
It was getting late so our visits Monday evening were quick as the moonlight cast its spell over the lake and season's last hatch of snow flies smashed on the window as we drove back to the lodge. We knew I was at, or near, the bottom of the CHEMO cycle and would likely experience the now all too familiar "drop" in energy and vitality. We just didn't know it would catch me that night with a vengance unlike the previous collapse.
At 10 pm Judy found me chilling and very feverish and I wanted to try to sleep. Sleep for me has become a memory from my prelymphomic night dreams. I was badly in need of rest. However, rest was the last thing on the agenda that Monday night. The night was long and I was far from the hospital when at 4:30 AM I finally got up one more time to get to the bathroom. This time, however, like the parking lot at the office after the last CHEMO cycle, I collapsed. Judy heard me hit the floor and was at my side in a flash. Luckily, John, one of our two not-so-near neighbors, was on the mountain and had his cell phone on. He was quick to get to us to assist Judy in getting me to the car. I didn't remember the ride down the mountain being so long before.
At the emergency room in Provo they again found my blood pressure at 70/30 and suspected with the 103+º temperature meant that we were dealing with a sepsis blood situation due to the absence of the white cells. They put me in ICU and started pumping fluid and antibiotics. I was was in pretty bad shape.
It has been a most difficult week since that flight down the mountain. But, as with all challenge, pain, difficulty and struggle, there has been growth and goodness, faith and friendship and blessing sufficient to the test. Thank you, thank you - please keep the prayers coming. I am off the mountain, but a long way from out of the woods.
The week was oh, so long. As I lay in the hospital bed and watched the coming and going of the life-flight choppers over the long holiday weekend, I was again pained to realize how many others were being called upon to suffer and die in accidents and traffic tragedies. The weekend traffic was heavy and the storms were fierce for so early in the fall. As I looked out at the mountain, the pale of the moon on the aspens from last Monday night's flight had changed to the pale of a new dusting of snow. Oh how I am so not ready for the summer to be past and my labors unfinished.
There is wood and coal to haul, chop and stack. There is staining for the logs and a bit of cement work that has been waiting since spring. And there is the proverbial cleaning of the lodge of the dust and growth of summer which has passed largely with me away from my mountain retreat. Alas, time, summer and life waits on none of us, lymphoma or not. It will all either get finished somehow, or it will wait. Today it will wait.
I am confined to the hospital until my
white cell and neutraphil counts rebound. That could be yet days, maybe weeks. So I continue to work from the bed and cell phone and hope and pray that things will resolve for me to be with each of you at the Reunion Convention - again, prayers please.
As the gurneys shuttled back and forth from the ambulance and the choppers, I couldn't help ponder the lives represented and touched by those on and at the side of the victims. How had they lived? What were their priorities? How had they spent their day, weekend, summer, life, love, passion, service, priorities and values - so far, or totally?
Each of us live in the shadow of the unknown. This allows us to freely choose how and on what we will spend our lives. It allows us the freedom and the agency to determine the "most" important things. For some of us it is "things," for others it is "people" and for some of us it is "cause." For the best of us it is a good balance of each, such that we are not left wishing and wondering when we are called from, or to the mountains of our lives. Balance is tricky business because a choice to focus on one aspect of living is also a choice to not spend it on another. The key is knowing, rather, choosing on what to focus on, when. It seems to me that it is a matter of seasons.
If we are in harmony with the seasons of our day, year and life, we will experience the least regret, loss and disappointment. If we "render" to God, children, spouse, health and work, that focus and time that rightfully belongs to them -- "their" seasons with us, we, while still having wood to chop, will not be so burdened by its constant call to spend our hours, days and summers.
We have just completed a season of summer, with kids and vacations, goings and comings and now back to school. For most Heritage Makers, this has been a season of putting the cause of heritage on back burners, or at least on simmer. It has been necessary while we have tended to the balance of the season of heritage we are both making and protecting. Now, however, the season has changed. It is time for heritage makers, particularly leaders, to rebalance and focus on the business and the "cause."
We have seen a drop in the attendance on Leader Calls and Sr. Leader calls over the summer as the balancing act has taken its toll on time and business priorities. And there are those of you who are not able to connect in at the time of the call, due to work. But now we issue a clarion call to each of our Heritage Makers consultants and leaders. Now is the time to shift and prepare for September, Reunion, fall selling, workshops and your clients and teams.
Important announcements are being made on the Leader call today. If you are qualified, please do not miss the call. If you are not yet a Director, please get with your Director after the call for details and then, please stretch and become an HM Director. We need you. The cause needs you and there is growth and excitement in the days ahead that you will not want to miss. Now is the season for "Fall Selling Salsa" and we have a great recipe for you. Things are about to get really "hot" and we don't want you to miss out on a single bite of the new taste of heritage in the making.
Leaders, today we will be discussing the Leadership Principle of Life and Death. I believe it will help to move you into the new month, season and mindset. I look forward to sharing some impressions from my bedside with you. Please be there.
Onward and Upward
Love Doug
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