Thursday brought chemo round #3. The result and pattern seem to be following very close to Round 2. No problem the first 24 hours after the start of the drip, then a noticeable drop in energy, a little nausea and tiredness for the next 24 hours. The metal mouth, low grade headache and general weakness are manageable. The biggest challenge for me seems to be with the frustration of not being able to move forward at the pace I am accustomed to working. None of us like to have things stand in the way of our progress. Or is what stands in our way the very experience and tool needed for us to progress? Are my current limitations really the portal to my success?
While the good Lord has given us the marvelous gift of agency, the power and the right to choose, I have discovered that He has a way of giving us the life circumstances that, in large measure, control the range of our choices, by putting us in our own "ballparks" that limit and focus those choices to limited options. Those limitations, in large measure, determine the "pitches" we will get to swing at. Where, when and with whom, we live in the world determines our range of possibilities and sets the "bounds of our game and choices."
In his infinite understanding of each of our individual needs for experienced-based development, he has ordered our lives to provide the challenges that will focus our attention and limit our choices to things most important for our happiness. If we will but trust Him and obey, when we ask for His direction He will not leave us comfort less, nor without understanding and counsel. He coaches us through the voice of His spirit, to use our freedom to choose to our best possible advantage. I am clear that His work and His glory is our eternal Happiness.
Think about it. These are great gifts -- the world, family life, health, challenges, freedom to choose and His beloved Son to cover our choices when we mess up choices that would otherwise separate us from Him, eternally. His plan and His love are perfect for each of us - if we will accept them and Him as He has directed.
He is our loving Father in Heaven. There is a verse in Hebrews that is filled with principle and practice regarding this truth it gives all of us much to think about on Fathers Day.
It is loaded with insight and raises questions that can help us make the important choices in our lives.
Hebrews 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
Another favorite scripture about our relationship to our Heavenly Father gives me hope of becoming more like Him as I follow His counsel.
1 John 3:2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
Of course what the scriptures say about men applies to women, they are each the daughters of God in the same way that men are His sons. I love the notion in this verse, that even though we may not now understand (it doesn't clearly appear to us yet), that when the game is over for us individually, or for all of us collectively, when He returns, that we will see Him as He is and that we will be like Him. What an incredible declaration - we will be like Him. He will have worked His perfect and perfecting plan through our developing mortal experience and His son's atoning, saving sacrificing power in our lives. That to that end that we may be like Him. This is His purpose - His work and His glory. And our work and responsibility is to seek to understand and follow the Savior's example and gospel. He came to show us how to have peace and love, kindness and mercy, forgiveness and faith.
His plan for me and my family and for you and yours is perfect. The tests and the tasks, the pitches He throws to me are perfect for me. And yours are perfect for you. And so I will continue to swing with all my might and strength. I suspect that I will hit a few and miss many. But, I rest confident that the end of the game is known to Him and can therefore be known to me, and to you, if we will seek, ask and knock at His door for the answers.
As I am lavished with love from my children on this Fathers Day, I pause to bend my knees and to look Heavenward to my Father and your Father and to humbly acknowledge His love, His patience and His many gifts to me - including the challenges I now face. I know what seems to block my way is indeed, my way. In His way, He is focusing my life to become more like Him. I am so very grateful that He has done so with such marvelous gifts as my sweetheart Judy, my loving and righteous children, my heritage, my friends and you, my family of heritage makers.
What an incredible privilege it is to know that we are working, praying, sacrificing and speaking the vision, mission and message of family and heritage together. I hope that your Fathers day is filled with love for both your father here and our Father there. Our work and purpose, that which we can glory in is bringing our children closer to both.
Onward and upward
Love Doug
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4 comments:
From all of us here to you and your family, Happy Fathers Day. Sophia finished her prayer yesterday and said, "oops, dad, I forgot to bless Doug." So she added a little P.S. note to her prayer. I'll bet the Lord is happy to get those extra lines from children before bedtime.
Dear Doug, Judy and family.
Although I have not been active in the business for quite some time I often think of all you and wonder 'if only'. Recently I became involved in the Susan G Komen 3 Day Breast Cancer walk. I'm on a team in San Diego called "Little Tommy's Team". Even though I'm not active I still keep my signature with my Heritage Maker website....well Tommy's sister was curious, clicked on the web address, liked what she saw and suggested a team book, so that is now set up. Today she is inquiring about setting up a business thru Heritage for her womens outreach program. Long story short she inspired me to take another look at the website and I stumbled on your blog. My heart and prayers go out to all of you. May the Lord be with you all as you go through this journey. If you recall me, perhaps you may recall my son Jeff and his girlfriend Ashley? Ashley was diagnosed in mid January this year and has just successfully BEAT Leukemia! It was a very rough few months almost losing the battle twice. She is back to work embracing her baldness and going 'commando' to work.
You are all added to my prayers..Doug, Judy your story is beautiful and I'm so glad you have shared it with all of us.
Love,
Geri Taitano
Dad,
I haven't typed a response to a couple of your blogs mainly because I've been trying be the fulcrum of a somewhat difficult seesaw of life the past couple of months.
Work has been a challenge to say the least, but a wonderful challenge I consider a blessing as it gave me the opportunity to focus, drive and succeed in the needs of my department and more importantly the needs of our clients. It's nice to see the hard work paying off and to see such bright, professional and energetic new "talent" to the CS staff.
Home is always a challenge--especially at the turn of summer because of so many events going on and so much "honey-dos" to accomplish. Seems like this is the year for things to fall apart or break at home--adding to the growing list of to-dos. If only there were 48 hours in a day... Oh well, now that the majority of the busyness of the past 2 months is back under control, I've been able to take time to address the other busynesses of home (I just now got my garden tilled and planted--a month and a half late. Hope the Miracle Grow grows a miracle for me :)). Interesting how you can take something so plain and boring as dirt and grow magnificent life from it. The Father did when he created man and what an amazing blessing to know that everything created comes from Him for our benefit, enjoyment and growth!
I am looking forward to continuing to grow CS strategically in training, staffing, service capability and quality!
Dad, thanks again for your inspiring words of wisdom, compassionate counsel, legendary leadership, and unrelenting love. You're certainly a hero to me and my family. Keep moving forward and remember, there is no such thing as the present--only the past to learn from and the future to shape.
Thank you also for your example of faith, testimony, integrity, honor and strength. Part of you will always be within me therefore I know I can do great things and do much good because I am YOUR son.
Onward and Upward!
Love,
Marsh
Doug, Judy,
This is just a shout out of "love yous!!". I was thinking of you as you are in the "in the woods" stage of this small part of your life. I say small because in the eternal view, this is but a moment. However, since time is relative, I know these woods seem awfully thick at times. I also know that hidden in the woods are great treasures, and that you will find where Heavenly Father has laid them in wait for you. I know you can do it. You have been so much to so many, and I know Doug, that you are but a man; and Judy, you are but a woman. But man is an astounding force when he is in line with the Lord, and so that is why I say, I know you can do it!
love love love
KathyG
I believe in Heritage Makers!
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